Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
