id be glad to
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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