youre lurking in front of me
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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