um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
