I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
