this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
