How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
