Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
