it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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