By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
