it wasn't lemon gatorade
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?