Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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