that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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