dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
it's like heaven, but drunker
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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