I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize