so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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