Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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