I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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