This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
you made out with another girl for some wings
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize