i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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