And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
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I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
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I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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