did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
