no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
