Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My dick has a subreddit
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
