Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Randomize
