a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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