I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
