idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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