Everything about him screamed your future.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
