so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
