So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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