Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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