i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize