How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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