He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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