you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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