Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize