why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
