She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
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