super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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