Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying

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  (202): either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying http://tfl.nu/ahxy
  Replies (2) Good night (574) Bad night (999)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!

  (1-903): View more from Texas

  What does that even mean?

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  (903): I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude! (1-903): What does that even mean? http://tfl.nu/qhna
  Replies (30) Good night (1252) Bad night (5153)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.

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  (216): She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here. http://tfl.nu/4k59
  Replies (65) Good night (2905) Bad night (5396)
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  (718): View more from New York

  it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store

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  (718): it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store http://tfl.nu/b87c
  Replies (8) Good night (4651) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not

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  (631): i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not http://tfl.nu/6wfd
  Replies (24) Good night (992) Bad night (6297)
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  (408): View more from California

  Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.

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  (408): Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding. http://tfl.nu/o5ps
  Replies (7) Good night (2770) Bad night (820)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.

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  (317): Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex. http://tfl.nu/7i2a
  Replies (15) Good night (1134) Bad night (4191)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you

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  (248): Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you http://tfl.nu/8prb
  Replies (7) Good night (1162) Bad night (2765)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..

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  (+44): The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her.. http://tfl.nu/uw6o
  Replies (5) Good night (2179) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.

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  (209): Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir. http://tfl.nu/1rs6
  Replies (21) Good night (1727) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  that is an amazing summary hahaha

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  (847): I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day. (1-847): that is an amazing summary hahaha http://tfl.nu/zrw7
  Replies (6) Good night (1496) Bad night (940)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?

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  (865): You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams? http://tfl.nu/qz0j
  Replies (8) Good night (1197) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"

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  (828): I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?" http://tfl.nu/m95j
  Replies (3) Good night (826) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.

  (510): View more from California

  I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.

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  (620): I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween. (510): I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/39pv
  Replies (3) Good night (681) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.

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  (832): Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties. http://tfl.nu/yjtl
  Replies (8) Good night (430) Bad night (625)

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