Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers (1-205): yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness.... http://tfl.nu/wnn7
  Replies (62) Good night (10555) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+ http://tfl.nu/62eq
  Replies (91) Good night (24904) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with. http://tfl.nu/wag5
  Replies (13) Good night (3273) Bad night (1177)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell. http://tfl.nu/fpod
  Replies (43) Good night (589) Bad night (4132)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car http://tfl.nu/yqns
  Replies (27) Good night (1287) Bad night (5619)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be. http://tfl.nu/j7k8
  Replies (16) Good night (4809) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud. http://tfl.nu/mlmc
  Replies (20) Good night (8921) Bad night (1332)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together. http://tfl.nu/creu
  Replies (5) Good night (1258) Bad night (3462)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has http://tfl.nu/fgce
  Replies (14) Good night (3496) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7 http://tfl.nu/lyiq
  Replies (3) Good night (2603) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight http://tfl.nu/sdqv
  Replies (7) Good night (4064) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders. http://tfl.nu/hyyp
  Replies (8) Good night (1887) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+27): Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain. http://tfl.nu/mmkg
  Replies (4) Good night (662) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation. http://tfl.nu/zwu5
  Replies (7) Good night (527) Bad night (1390)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea http://tfl.nu/a1ln
  Replies (7) Good night (336) Bad night (592)

Randomize