Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.

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  (360): The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade. http://tfl.nu/rkoj
  Replies (48) Good night (4300) Bad night (627)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?

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  (817): What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"? http://tfl.nu/9rca
  Replies (29) Good night (9855) Bad night (1083)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.

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  (304): i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers. http://tfl.nu/rz0s
  Replies (21) Good night (4301) Bad night (1132)
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  (626): View more from California

  he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??

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  (626): he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that?? http://tfl.nu/9sps
  Replies (26) Good night (1524) Bad night (5955)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.

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  (507): Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss. http://tfl.nu/1ntp
  Replies (10) Good night (5370) Bad night (945)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...

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  (330): Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late... http://tfl.nu/fji7
  Replies (5) Good night (3444) Bad night (909)
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  (631): View more from New York

  It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.

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  (631): It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots. http://tfl.nu/yevq
  Replies (1) Good night (2382) Bad night (628)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.

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  (915): Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me. http://tfl.nu/qov1
  Replies (6) Good night (1205) Bad night (2565)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?

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  (814): Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison? http://tfl.nu/qn7s
  Replies (4) Good night (1987) Bad night (709)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday

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  (601): Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday http://tfl.nu/2xqb
  Replies (5) Good night (584) Bad night (1368)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.

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  (775): Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected. http://tfl.nu/2ksx
  Replies (6) Good night (445) Bad night (2187)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  do u know what happened to the bottles last night?

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone

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  (250): do u know what happened to the bottles last night? (1-250): apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone http://tfl.nu/opnd
  Replies (4) Good night (1508) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20

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  (218): legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20 http://tfl.nu/k23v
  Replies (12) Good night (431) Bad night (899)
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  (831): View more from California

  Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"

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  (831): Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over" http://tfl.nu/jc5k
  Replies (1) Good night (741) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.

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  (213): idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot. http://tfl.nu/1auj
  Replies (3) Good night (627) Bad night (284)

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