Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?