The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.