he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
