My first STD was from a foam party
meet me or not, i'm out of control
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
