yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
