id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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