if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Why can't burritos get me drunk
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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