you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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