I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
