Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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