break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
