Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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