I CAN MOONWALK!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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