so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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