I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
