TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
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She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
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We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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