Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
