:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
