Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
