Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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