Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
