I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
