oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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