Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
