Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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