Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
